I'm not a slut
by twobrokefangirls
Summary: Aradia is bullied until she can't take it anymore. sadstuck


((**it's actually chapters one through five for no reason other than i am stupid. trigger warning for a suicide attempt, drinking, and bullying.))**

Aradia megido walked down the hall toward her homeroom class, feeling a dripping sensation of dread coursing through her veins. she walked past her locker, not stopping to put away any books or to read the fresh insults scratched in the paint. ever since she had been caught with sollux, she had been ridiculed by the other students. why? because sollux had a girlfriend-unbeknownst to aradia(the poor dear)- the entire time, one feferi peixes-the richest, and nicest, girl in town (how she fell for a douche like sollux we'll never know). now aradia was the most bullied girl at school, and it was even worse considering her sister was a stripper and her mom a cleaning lady. aradia tried to stay in the shadows-also because even if she had never been kissing sollux, her weird death thing would get her teased anyway- but it was impossible with vriska serket, the meanest girl in the tenth grade. aradia hated vriska.

as our young, confused, and emotionally traumatized heroine walked down the hall, a group of girls passed. vriska paused by aradia, and her main lackey terezi stopped too. terezi sniffed the air

"wow, what's that awful smell? oh yeah, i know, it's the smell of skank." terezi said jeeringly.

vriska laughed and pushed aradia into the wall.

"oops," she said in a falsely sweet voice, "i guess i need to wash the whore residue off my hands." aradia struggled not to cry. she was a virgin, and she was nowhere near skanky. the girls walked off, and aradia rushed to the bathroom. as she ran, tears filled her pretty brown eyes.

she rapidly rushed around the turn in the corridor, not noticing the boy in the wheel chair until she tripped over him and went sliding down the dirty yet slidy floors.

"ohmigod, i am so sorry!" she said, standing as she brushed dirt from her black skirt.

"oh, it's ok." said the boy in the wheelchair. aradia looked closer and saw that she knew the boy from advanced biology. "i know you," she said. "you're tavros, the boy who lives with his mental brother rufioh in the ghetto."

"yeah...uh, but you're aradia." he replied

"the one and only" aradia said as she walked away.

later that evening, aradia sat for hours in the dirty, sad little bathroom in her family's apartment. millions of small bottles littered the ground, and capsules in all the colors of the hemospectrum and then some littered the ground. a handful- limegreen, yellow, and two teal sat in her palm. she looked at them for a long while, thinking about it. each of these pills was, alone, a remedy, but together a lethal combination. she looked at them a while longer, but her hand shook and she sighed, unable to go through.

the next day, at lunch aradia was sitting in a random hallway near the science wing, writing in an old, worn dark red notebook, when she saw a pair of brown wheels roll up and a pair of sandals and black-sweatpant clad legs resting on the foot thingys. she looked up and saw tavros leaning over her, holding a set of pokemon cards and an orange lunch sack.

"hi, aradia." tavros said timidly

"hello.

'um, you looked kinda lonely, so i thought i would come over" he says shyly.

"ok." aradia replied, and he handed her a roast beef sandwich.

"i, uh, i noticed you don't bring lunches so i made an extra sandwich" he mumbled, blushing red

aradia almost launched into a description of how damara, her older sister, always ate their food because she claimed to need the energy for her pole dancing at the strip club where she worked, and about how her mom got less than minimum wage, and her sister never bought food or anything just clothes for the two of them and sex things like freaky bras with shit lace on them, but she remembered that tavros himself lived in the slums as well, on money from rufiohs acting and money from thier father, who lived far away.

"thanks" aradia said, hoping her entire backstory would be crammed into her faint, long unused genuine smile and simple one word reply.

chapter twooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ((on friday, tav's POV))

"i'm in apartment three" she said, and i nod. tommorow's saturday- she's probably free-

"hey, uh, how about, uhm, well maybe-" as usual, i can't say it.

"you wanna hang out tommorow? i'll probably be home all day." she says, and again i just nod. it only hits me ont he way out- ive made plans to hang out with a girl i happen to fancy. if i could, i would do a victory dance.

CHAPPEEEEER Threee

"hey aradia, stop dissecting frogs and come out here, i got some money and i'm taking you to lunch!" damara shouted from the foyer of their apartment, "and i promise i wont attempt to bang the waiters on the buffet table this time!"

"brilliant. she's home, and probably will try to bang the waiters on the table" aradia muttered. however, she was hungry and decided that it was worth the public humiliation to go and eat food with damara.

"hello, mr. hot waiter, i'd like to order you in my mouth, i mean a fuck me please, i mean a hamburger (yours)" damara said, clearly frightening the terrified young waiter.

"how about you?" he asked the mortified girl trying to hide behind her menu, "wait,"he said, "i know you. you're Aradia, the slut from school. i guess it runs in the family" he said, chuckling. damara looked at her sister, and they both stood up. damara hit the waiter in the balls, ("not very substanital down there, are we?") and the two asian girls walked out onto the street. suddenly damara cried out, "HEY, IS THAT LIZ? " another young woman, this one with wavy brown hair and a gurgly baby on her hip, turned to look at whoever was shouting her name. instantly the former- very temporary sexual partner ((got it right this time, see?)) was by her friend's side,

"omg, Damara, girl i havent seen you since we booked that lesbian club!"

"i notice you got a baby! accidental, or on purpose?" damara asked

"oh, this lil' boy? he was sort of on purpose. an old friend flew in from the east, and we got real drunk. one thing led to another and..." liz hefted the chubby lump of small humanspawn. it giggled and spat a glob onto the sidewalk. aradia knew she was out of the conversation, so she took a five and seven ones from her sisters purse, left a note, and wandered up the road.

she wandered along, finding herself in the posh, rich-kids neighborhood, with the tall victorian houses and carefully maintained topiary.

she wandered along, but came to a stop before a tall, castle-like estate painted white with a blue trim. a young woman Aradia had never seen before sat on the steps, reading. when the girl noticed aradia standing there, she looked up and adjusted her white cat's-eye glasses.

"oh. it's you. the girl my sister torments." she said to aradia.

the girl in the blue dress looked back at her book and said, "i'm aranea."

aradia said nothing, but something told her to not walk away. the teenager sitting on the steps slowly looked up and-

"what, soliciting sex for money again? i'm not into that gross kinky stuff though. try a stripper club, drunk-ass slut." aranea said, a cruel smile sliding across her face. aradia felt the tears welling in her eyes and she ran away- dropping her red notebook. aranea reached out one red-boot covered foot and casually kicked the book to her hand. vriska's sister picked up the worn bundle of paper and grinned, as she opened aradia's diary.

chapter four TW SUICIDE ATTEMPT

aradia, meanwhile, had run to her ramshackle apartment. she burst into her room, tried to avoid looking at damara's lingerie and posters.

she went to her small desk and yanked on the drawer.

a small silver knife glinted up at her- aradia had always felt like the dead held far more promise for her than this world of horror and bullies, and that maybe dying would help her escape.

she picked up the knife and turned it, watching the sharp point glint under the dim 'd always considered this- but never been able to go through with it.

aradia pulled back the sleeve of her gray longsleeve shirt and looked at the gentle blue line under her pale skin. she tapped her wrist with the knife tip, wondering what exactly it was she was supposed to do for this to work.

just as aradia slowly pulled the blade along the inside of her forearm, the door burst open. she whipped her head around just in time to see tavros somehow launch himself from his wheelchair and slam into her. she dodged and quickly slid her blade into the sheath, so she wouldnt harm her friend. tavros fell, his paralyzed legs unable to hold his little body. he sat down hard on the gray bed, reaching for aradia's hands. he gripped them in his and turned them over, exposing a web of veins along her wrists. he leaned close, tracing his finger along the lines, making sure there were no other scars.

the young boy sat on her bed, his gentle, quiet fingers checking her wrists. here was someone caring for her, someone giving her their attention and doing so in a sweet, gentle way. aradia stopped struggling, sitting beside tavros on the bed. once tav saw the lack of scars on her wrists, he continued holding on to her hands, praying she wouldnt recoil and pull away. aradia looked into the boy's eyes, she saw something she had never seen anyone look at her with. love. aradia's life had been a rush of other children who found her strange and a distant sister who was in the strip club since age 14 and a mom who worked so hard to make ends meet she barely had time to sleep at night, much less care for the daughters she hadnt meant to have.

Tavros was the first friend aradia had ever known.

barely knowing what she was doing, aradia slowly leaned in and, slowly, slowly, put her lips on his. she gently kised him, and he practically fainted. she drew back, lifting him into his chair.

aradia wheeled him out of her room, and out of the apartment to the street below.

going on an instinct, she started running down the deserted back alley, pushing tavros along. aradia jumped and put her feet on the wheelguards, crouching down like one does when one rides the shopping carts at safeway before getting kicked out. her skirt flew out behind like only the best skirts do.

tavros raised his arms like he was an airplane and they sailed down the backstreet, until the wheelchair's front wheels hit against a rock. aradia hopped down and dug in her heels, somehow fighting gravity and a lot of other physics-y stuff like force and motion and such, and stopping them from flying straight into a group of people sitting in the alleyway smoking hand rolled joints. the people turned around- it was Gamzee Makara and Roxy Lalonde. roxy was a mess- smears of makeup around her eyes- but she was completely drunk. gamzee sat, considering the two people who had just almost slammed into him. "hey, guys. wanna roll one?" was the final verdict.

"hahahahshhadg o curse thy wanoo woo wadn izz guud" roxy unlit joint threatened to slip out of her hand, an empty bottle of vodka in the other, clunking against the wooden crate in her loose grasp, was a better suggestion of just what drug she was on. aradia looked at tav, and shrugged. roxy held out her pot cigar, hand waving in loopy figure eights

"U cn ave min ima jus getme notheruna des bahuls her" roxy shook her vodka bottle and looked at the inch of liquid sloshing around in it. "aw fucuck dis bish" she said, taking a messy swig.

gamzee laughed and tried to give tav some of the pot. tavros shook his head, and sat quietly.

"actually, do you have any more of that vodka?" aradia asked.

"aw come on man, no grass for you?" gamzee laughed, slowly shaking his wild-haired head.

roxy reached over to another crate and pulled out a bottle. she struggled with the lid for a while, then handed it over. aradia looked at the innocent-looking clear substance within the stylized glass with gold-embossed red writing (SMIRINOF) printed on it. shrugging, she popped the cap and took a long swig.

choking, aradia spewed the vile stuff and coughed up a lung. she faked another sip and set the bottle down behind the crate, hoping the drunk girl wouldnt notice

"yeah, i've always been sorta curious about the afterlife" she found herself saying to roxy's rapt face. gamzee had strolled away already.

"aw yeh an sheeet buh cemun brah whaa bout dis liv ya got her" roxy slurred profoundly, "whaa if izz the ony one we got? yeh canna wass dis wil yeh goddit"

"roxy, i know that anything i might have in another life has to be better than this" aradia reached for her notepad (it's pocket size) but felt an empty pocket.

"it must have fallen out." our hero didnt realize that it had fallen out a while ago- when she was talking to her tormentor's older sister.

"wait- 'radia." little tav piped up, "i wont be in the afterlife with you"

"true" aradia said, standing up,

"thanks, roxy. see you around."

"no c u roun bishhhhhh" roxy said, doing one of those snap and double pistols thing.

roxy stood and staggered off, either heading to rose and kanaya's or to her apartment she shared with jane.

aradia screwed the lid onto her half-empty bottle and walked over to tav's wheelchair.

"let's go watch a movie or something" tavros said, and so they did.

chapter five

monday-

aradia walked down the same old hall, but with less dread. her life had become a hell of a lot more worth living since she had tried to stop living it. two weeks had gone by since she had sat on a crate in the alley drinking vodka with roxy and gamzee. ever since, roxy- who was a senior at the high school- would give her a nod and hello,or sometimes a fistbump. tavros had become her best friend, and he finally had someone to play pokèmon with. things were just beginning to look up.

but then, everYthign came crashing back down.

it was a daily assault- vriska and her sister combined would have been a formidable army alone, but with aradia's diary, they made her life hell.

turning the entire school against her, aradia couldn't walk down a back hallway without being called every name in the book, and many people came to her, asking for her to engage in prostitiution with them. ((to clarify, they were offering her money (jokingly) for her to have sex with them,but then laughing and saying she wasnt worth it and such.))

tavros, too, was teased and bullied. they took his stuff and jammed his wheelchair, they dumped things on him and picked him up and left him sitting in the girl's toilet. he loved aradia, but finally he told her that he couldnt keep hanging out with her.

utterly alone, without even a nod or smile from a drunk girl or a hand from a crippled boy, aradia felt empty. she put up a shell between herself and the world, rarely eating, rarely sleeping. she stayed up nights, crying and sitting without any purpose.

depression settled over her like a thick blanket of chain mail woven through with thorns. she never told anyone, never knew that she could have help.

after weeks of horrible torment, aradia pulled a letter out of her pocket. she had written many of the letters, and this was her final copy. she put it in a manilla envelope and left it sitting on the bed.


End file.
